My son is 13. He has admitted to me that one of his friends
smokes cigarettes and marijuana. Should we continue to allow
them to spend time together? I have casually checked to see
if this boy smells like smoke or looks stoned on those occasions
when he is visiting in our home. What else can I do?
a good thing that your son feels comfortable enough to tell
you something about a friend that he knows you don't want
to hear! You should feel proud of him and of yourself for
developing a good relationship.
Since you do know
this about the boy, you will want to be able to control the
time your son spends with him. That is - invite him to your
house, invite him to go with your family to a game, to the
beach, to a fast-food restaurant….Let your son spend some
limited other time with him too but continue to hug him when
he gets home (to smell for smoke, etc. as well as to remind
him that you love him).
Don't assume that
this boy will influence your son, assume that your son will
influence him - and tell your son that you have that much
faith in him. At other times, reiterate your family's rules
about smoking and drug use (not in relation to the other boy,
but just in general).
This advice applies
to all your son's friends now and in the future - at least
through high school. It sounds like you're on the right track
already! Enjoy your boy.
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